27 Days Completed… 3 more to go!
That's right folks! I'm almost to the finish line. This Tuesday will be the last of the 30 day sobriety test I put myself through and I have to say... not that hard. It was rather odd at first though - but after that first week - things just carried on without much difference. Yesterday was a test though... I was invited to go to Carver's Boat Birthday Party on the lake. I haven't seen that much alcohol in a very long time and everyone except one girl was drinking - a lot... but I made it through the day.
Today, Monday, and Tuesday should be a cakewalk and I have to say - I'm rather proud of myself. Carver had mentioned that he does it every year, 30 days before his birthday and I think I'm going to adopt that plan. August 1-30 will be my Sober 30.
7 Days of Sobriety & Counting!
This past week I decided to cut out alcohol from my "diet" for 30 days to see what (if any) affect it has on my workouts and progress towards that ever-so-daunting 150 lbs. So far - I don't see/feel any difference other than finding it slightly disconcerting not waking up Monday morning having mildly overdosed over the weekend. The funny thing is I find myself having to remind others more than myself that I'm not drinking. The first few days weren't all that difficult - but going to Krave and not drinking was slightly off... I felt like I should be altered to endure Boringstar and his HORRIBLE spinning. I think not being influenced by alcohol has led me to truly hate ("hate" is such a harsh word - I try to limit it's use to twinks who cause drama unnecessarily and fat old bears offering to be generou$) dislike his DJing. Not only could you tell he had no idea how to mix two beats together, but he f'd with the volume twice when someone walked up to him, and the best part - went completely silent for about 10 seconds in the middle of a song. Besides looking literally as though someone literally dug him out of a grave, it leaves a lot to be desired. Sobriety has shown me the light!
Where did THAT come from!?
Yes my friends... that... is a bicep. There's also some tricep showing and that forearm wasn't there either. I'm still stalled a bit at 138 lbs, but I also dipped down to 134 a month or so ago and was able to regain those lost pounds. I'm inching towards 140 and I'm still reaching for that goal of 150. I've learned new crunch techniques for my abs, and learned how to use the BoSu for my chest (which also works the abs at the same time). The gym is my sanctuary and boys are staring a bit longer than they were before.
Oh... and the ass is fillin' out too. Who knew - skinny white boys can get an ass! Oh, and as for yoga... lets just say, my balance and focus is getting much better.
I can now do Crow (pictured) without falling. Furthermore, I can push back/launch myself into Plank and move down into my Vinyasa after. The next step would be to go into a headstand from Crow, then come back down into Crow, and then push back into Plank. I'm getting so excited and confident with my Yoga practice. Each session brings me more positive energy and I leave each time renewed and ready for more. I can't wait for more! Our instructor just returned from India as well, so I'm eager to tap his new found Yoga practices!!
Santosha: The Ease of the Heart
Thanks Justin for forwarding this to me... - CB
Santosha: The Ease of the Heart
By Swami Shraddhananda
Continuing with our series on the eight limbs of yoga, as outlined by Patanjali in the Yoga Sutras , we come to the second observance, or niyama , which is santosha , or contentment. It is key to all the niyamas and a necessary condition for enlightenment. Contentment paves the way for the integration of all the tools yoga offers.
Contentment is a requirement for peace of mind, yet we live in a culture that fosters discontentment. We are bombarded by advertisements that make us feel inadequate and promote a continual grasping for material wealth and sensual experience. We are taught to seek superficial gratification with no regard for future consequences for ourselves or the world. We become attached to things and people to avoid our personal discomfort. We are led to believe that satisfaction of our cravings, as well as our egos, will bring happiness. To the contrary, ignorance, egoism, attachment, aversion and clinging to the sensual are actually obstacles to our contentment and our prospects for liberation. These five obstacles (called kleshas in the yoga texts) are the causes of all suffering. No wonder people can be so short-tempered and grouchy!
So, what is contentment, and how do we incorporate it as an "observance" in our lives? Contentment is serenity, but not complacency. It is comfort, but not submission; reconciliation, not apathy; acknowledgment, not aloofness. Contentment is a mental decision, a moral choice, a practiced observance, a step into the reality of the cosmos. Contentment/santosha is the natural state of our humanness and our divinity and allows for our creativity and love to emerge. It is knowing our place in the universe at every moment. It is unity with the largest, most abiding, reality.
Too often we think too small. Some people believe they must close their eyes to the suffering of others in order to maintain their own contentment. They confuse indifference with detachment, passivity with peacefulness, and isolation with equanimity. But hiding one's head in the sand will not guarantee contentment. There is an old saying from India: “You can wake up a sleeping person but you cannot awaken someone who is pretending to sleep.”
There are several ways to cultivate contentment. We can practice yoga postures, pranayama (deep breathing) and meditation to keep our energies balanced and our mind serene--qualities that lead toward contentment. We can keep a journal of things for which we are grateful. The deepest contentment comes at those moments when we feel we are in the flow of life, when we are communing with nature, when our energies are positive and when we have no desires. By being conscious of these moments, we can strengthen, expand and sustain the feeling of contentment for longer periods of time. Even when we are surrounded by chaos and disharmony, we can return to this feeling and find ourselves back in a place of peace and quietude. The state of contentment becomes a familiar place when we observe it throughout the day. The key is to bring our attention fully to it when it occurs and not hurry on to the next activity. And by affirming our place in the cosmos, our connection to others and our interface with the divine, it is harder to lose our way when disturbances arise.
One of the benefits of contentment is emotional maturity. Dramatic mood swings diminish, and personal crises are no longer the end of the world. Global events do not push us into isolated selfishness, but rather into community. Self-absorption is no longer the theme of our life. The loss of a job, the end of a relationship, or the nightly news broadcast does not leave us feeling devastated or powerless. This does not mean we have no feelings. But when we consciously santosha, we spend more time in contentment and less time in agitation, more time in consciousness awareness, and less time in the emotionality of anger or depression or other negativities. Contentment offers a doorway into another way to experience the world. There is elegance to how it shapes power in lives and allows for greater service to the world.
We live in times of great upheaval, whether we call it the 21st century or the end of the Kali yuga (the age of darkness). We are riding on a wave made of many changes, and because the wave is so high and moving so quickly we cannot always see clearly. People's lives across the planet are agitated by economic disparities, war, climate change and fears of the unknown. We are both the product and creator of these conditions; we help reinforce in one another the qualities of love or fear, contentment or discontentment. Ignoring these factors or becoming overwhelmed by them serves no one. The embrace of a larger reality is necessary in order to give us the courage to act as well as the solace of daily sustenance.
Many prominent leaders who promote non-violence and work toward improving the world have recognized that the cultivation of contentment is a requirement for working to alleviate the misery and suffering that surrounds them. Some of these spiritual souls, all of whom were nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize, are Mahatma Gandhi, Nelson Mandela, Martin Luther King, His Holiness the Dalai Lama, Aung San Suu Kyi (a Buddhist leader in Burma under house arrest for years and Nobel Peace Prize winner, 1991), Shirin Ebadi (a woman Iranian human rights lawyer and the first Muslim to win the Nobel Peace Prize, 2003), Jodi Williams (founder of International Campaign to Ban Land Mines, who persuaded 122 countries to sign the Land Mine Ban treaty, and winner of the Nobel Peace Prize, 1997), Kathy Kelly (Catholic peace worker, nominated twice for the Nobel Peace Prize and recently jailed for peaceful protest at the School of Americas in Fort Benning, Georgia). All of these people observe contentment as they work for non-violent change, even in the face of harassment, criticism and jailings.
The eight limbs of yoga serve as a map for transformation, bringing balance to the inner and outer life. The eight limbs are yamas (restraints), niyamas (observances), asanas (postures), pranayama (breath control), pratyahara (sense withdrawal), dharana (concentration), dhyana (meditation) and samadhi (contemplation). These are tools to harmonize us as social beings and to balance us as individuals. The purpose of these eight limbs is to free us to realize our full potential and to bring liberation.
May all hearts be at ease. May our contentment promote the energies to alleviate suffering and turn ignorance into knowledge. May the cultivation of santosha guide us to courageous action, deeper community and greater love of all sentient beings.
13 Down – 12 to Go!
I'm almost there! When I moved to Las Vegas, I weighed 125 lbs. Yes. 125 pounds. Since August, I've gained 13 lbs and am up to 138 lbs. My goal: 150 lbs... and I seem to be at a standstill... I've passed the halfway mark, but can't seem to gain anymore. I feel as though I'm at a point where I'm just maintaining everything, and/or making everything more defined. And on top of everything, my abs are bigger than my chest! HA! Oh well... I'm sure it'll all even out.
So it's the big 2008 now. I still find myself writing/typing 2007 and having to correct it... probably take 'til at least mid-end February before I've finally realized what year it is. In any case... Mandy and I have begun to keep track of goals. Meaning, writing them down, and once every other month, sitting down and reviewing them. Making sure they're attainable goals and that they are specific enough. Not just, "pay off credit cards" but more so , pay off "$xx.xx" by some date. I finally paid off the Capital One Card... only to rack it right back up again. So that card has been cut up. Literally. When I saw the next statement, I was so aggravated with myself that I had let myself do that. And practically nothing on the statement was worth it. Just paid it off again - thanks to the extra funds - but I needed to do something to prevent myself from using it. Now I just have to start in on the big one.
But yea, goals. I'm rather proud of myself with the things I've accomplished since moving here. I've become so focused on what I want in life... and taking steps to make sure I get it. The first step of that was getting my finances in check. I'm not spending every last cent on clothes or coffee (sorry Starbucks, but I gotta cut somewhere); and I'm actually putting away a decent start to a savings. Let's hope that the car doesn't break down and end up eating that... but if it did, I would still be happy that I had been smart to save the money. That's what it's there for, right? The other was health and gym. For my height, I should be around 145-150, and thankfully, I've been doing something right because I'm halfway there. Just gotta keep up the momentum.
Here come the motha fuckin' side effects…
Wow... I was on a roll with my entries and then I just dropped off the edge of the digital earth... not to fear... I'm back though. After a brief (albeit sooooo not over with) stint of work related stress, I've been able to calm down and get back to me. This past week has been absolutely hell at work and I'm doing more and more tasks that are not within the parameters of my job description. I suppose that's what I get for being "too good" as some of the other Account Managers say - but still. I honestly feel as though I'm being taken advantage of now. In any case... hopefully it won't continue on much longer. That is... if a new prospect works out; but, not going to dish that opportunity out until it shows some promise. Until then, I took tomorrow off to de-stress and just disconnect myself from work.
In other news, Yoga! Yes, I have started Yoga at LVAC. What a great way to calm the mind and body... all while increasing flexibility and balance. Doesn't hurt that the instructor is absolutely adorable either.
But I digress... it is, though, a totally fulfilling experience and I'm very glad I started it up. Justin has been raving about it so much that my curiosity just peaked and I had to do it. Speaking of the gym... have you seen my arms lately?! They're getting huge!
Let's see, what else has been going on... Jake got a speeding ticket... and by Jake, I mean me. LOL. A measly 70 in a 35... no big deal... but what ticked me off was that the cop also gave me a citation for not switching over my MD plates within 30 days. Now... if this were what was told to me by the DMV when I got my license, then I would accept that I was at fault and moved along; however, the DMV paperwork states that I have 60 days to switch over my registration - which I was still well within. In any case, I was planning to do so this past weekend and I did... still just ticks me off that I have to prove that I have it changed over when I shouldn't have been cited for it in the first place. At least I got a nice fat refund check from my insurance company for overpaying my MD policy.
Hmm... what else... mostly just relaxing and taking it one day at a time. It's so nice out here - sunshine every day; gorgeous weather. Cool quiet nights with no fire trucks and police sirens blaring by every hour. Great friends that I live with and meeting more and more every week. It's amazing how friendly people are out here. Especially coming from the east coast where everyone is only concerned about the two feet in front of them, the too feet in back of them, and their wallet. I've met a lot of great people whom I'm very glad to have been befriended by.
Next stop - LA! Planning to head out there next weekend to visit Chris and Justin... perhaps Vartan if he's around.
Still have to figure out where I'll stay, but I have a whole week to figure that out. Maybe Justin will let me crash on his couch.
I am the Dirty Mistress
I swear - this town is going to turn me into that dirty mistress who sleeps with everyone's boyfriend. LOL! Ok ok maybe not that bad... but still! Orgy parties and bathhouses... geez! LOL. Anyway... things are going pretty well here in LV (that's how us locals abbreviate Las Vegas
). Besides almost having a meltdown at the amount of work I've been doing which is 4x the amount of the national average for my position, work is going pretty well. I've been finding myself sleeping a lot lately though - which I know is bad. I've been doing great at the gym! Handsome Rob has been helping me and it's great because he's almost always available to go when I want to. I feel like I'm getting better at everything and my arms are blowin' up!! My form is improving too - he showed me a few things I was doing wrong which, in correcting, have made my workout more effective. Plus it's great to have someone to talk about the hot boys at the gym with.
I noticed too that I haven't written about my birthday! What a great weekend that was! Went out to Krave and danced my ass off... had to avoid some people but that's ok. It was still one of the best birthday's I've had in a long time.
Mom sent me a Target gift card which was great and she also sent me a little recipe box with all the recipes for the foods she made me that I liked. How frickin' sweet is that? Plus - and here's what made this the best birthday ever - I get an e-mail on my birthday (after my mom called at 5:12 am - cuz I was born at 8:12 am and my mom is still on the east cost and conveniently "forgot" about the time difference - but I digress). My mom had called a local bakery: Nothing Bundt Cakes - which - if you're from here, you know that they are the best ever! She ordered a cake for me to pick up on my birthday and let me tell you what - it was the best tasting cake ever! Well... besides the ones mom makes of course.
My Titties Hurt!
About two weeks ago I finally did it. I joined a gym. And for only $19 a month! How crazy is that?! Back east gyms were easily $50-$80 a month. I was paying $56 for Bally's (years ago when I did go and try to do something which ended up being nothing lol) and I have friends who pay upwards of $80 for Resluts Results or Vida. Not only do I pay 4x less than them, but my gym is so pretty. And by pretty, I mean the Chippendale's work out there. Can you get much better than that?! I think not.
Dustin has helped, as well as Paul and Christian, with showing me how to work each muscle group. I'm quite grateful that they've taken the time to show me how to workout properly and not let me just haphazardly "wing it". I've got my muscle groups lined up: Day 1 - Chest and Biceps / Day 2 - Back and Triceps / Day 3 - Shoulders and Traps / Day 4 - Legs / Day 5 - Cardio/Abs (which is done everyday anyway, but this would be the intense focus on Day 5). After the first day, I was feeling sore - but my excitement that my arms and chest were already bigger (though bigger because of blood rushing to the muscles to repair them) totally helped me ignore the pain. Who knew working out was so addicting! This morning I woke up at 5am so that I could go before work and frankly, I think that's the way to go. I felt a million times more productive and alert at work today. I did take about an hour nap when I got home this evening, but I still think that morning workouts might be better for me. I'm definitely going to try and do it again tomorrow morning. 
Now, you may be thinking, "Christopher is a small guy... he's average height - but when he turns to the side, he disappears! How on earth is he going to do anything but stay super skinny?" Well my friends, it's quite simple. My target weight goal is 150 lbs. Yes. You read correctly, 150lbs. What do I weigh currently? 127 lbs. Stop laughing. I can do it. And I will do it... with the help of suppliments/weight gainer of course. HA! All I have to do is stay focused.
Going away presents already?
So I went for my last doctor's appointment today here in DC and thought it was funny what one of my friends had told me to ask my doctor. So I am talking with him and the topic comes up of Viagra vs Cialis and the differences between them. So I jokingly said a friend said I should ask you for some. It is some good stuff... definitely enhances things. O:-) In any case... he turns around and says, 'you want a sample pack?' SCORE! HAHA! Free Cialis! Gay-Friendly doctors rule!
UK AIDS Awareness Ads put Ken doll to shame…
I can see it now... the ad agency's rep saw his son putting his sister's dolls in inappropriate positions and got the idea. In any case, it's quite creative. Definitely calls it out and although perhaps the park one is a bit lewd - it's truth without naughty parts printed. (Click to Enlarge)


Jocko re-typed the print on the ad... I'm feelin' a little too lazy to do that myself.









