Martinis Are Not Allowed At The Club!

Martinis should be banned at a dance club. Seriously. And if clubs insist on serving them, they should only be served in a plastic cup. Why? Oh, I dunno… maybe it has something to do with the fact that you’re on a dance floor - not moving - while everyone else is… drinking your martini… and when someone happens to bump into you (as if you couldn’t see it coming) you get upset. With a regular drink - unless you have butter fingers - this wouldn’t happen. Maybe a little spillage happens, but the entire drink doesn’t go to waste. So when I come around the corner (second mistake… who stands on the other side of a corner… really? That’s just asking for it, but I digress) and you’re standing there holding your martini out, it’s bound to get knocked over. I almost ran right into the girl and knocked her on her ass… but I, with my cat-like reflexes, was able to dodge and weave out of the way… still managed to spill her drink though… all over her shirt. So as I stand there trying to figure out what actually happened… her friend says “Say you’re sorry!” Uh, WOAH bitch! Calm yourself. So I lean into the girl I had spilled the drink and asked what drink she had. Her reply… “Dirty Martini”. Excuse me while I roll my eyes… *rolls eyes*

So I walk to the bar and get her drink, and another for me of course, and head back to the dancefloor with her drink only to find that she has moved… so here I am with two drinks… one of which cost like $10… and I can’t even drink it - ‘cuz honestly… a Dirty Martini isn’t for everyone… and certainly not me.  It’s like drinking straight olive juice… with a kick.  Anyway… I drank two sips… dumped about half of it into my Cranberry and Vodka (which is surprisingly good… at least when you’re two sheets to the wind) and went about my way.  Next time maybe she’ll wait ’til I get back with her nasty ass drink.