Retail Hell

Since re-entering the world of clothing retail, I’ve been thinking a lot about how men differ from women with their shopping habits. When men shop, heterosexual men mainly, they tend to go only where they need something and that is all… side trips and detours are rare, if at all. Women, however, tend to shop everywhere they can, store or street. If it can be bought, there are there… credit cards paving the way. Even when rushed, men are reserved and don’t often ask for help, even if they need it. When asked if they need help though, they will say yes and vocalize their needs. Women are the complete opposite; they will ask you for help, usually at the most inopportune time, and run you ’til you cannot breathe anymore. But when you ask them if they need help, most of the time they will decline assistance.

As for tactical practices, men for the most part (again, only speaking of straight) will not bother a particular pile to find their size if they do not see it; and if they happen to find it, they at least attempt at fixing any mess they may have made. Women attempt to find their size in a variety of ways… the afore mentioned bark for help, or they seem to, most when no one is looking, but also surprisingly at times when you’ve just folded something, pick up a pile of clothing, throw it halfway across the room, and which ever hangs in mid air is their size. And if that doesn’t work for that color, they repeat the process with another. I’ve learned there is no winning against this force and it is better to submit to its will. It will be less painful for all… the homosexual male is excluded since their habits seem to align quite closely with the women. There is always exceptions to the rules but few when there are.

As for the fitting rooms: women will try on everything in the store, while men only try on what they are looking for, and even then they sometimes take it home w/o trying it on. Women will also leave the entire Spring collection that they decided to try on in the fitting room… mostly on the floor, hangers strewn about, and everything inside out stuffed in corners. Men, at the very least will bring it out to you to admit they do not know how it was folded or hung and would ask if it would be ok to leave it with you. A pet peeve of mine is when you are working in the fitting room and are processing the mounds of clothing which you found stuffed under the bench in one of the rooms, and a customer will begin to shop the rack of clothing to be taken back to the floor. Now I’ve read some tips that tell consumers that one of the best places to find the good stuff is in the returns from the fitting room. Apparently this ‘tip giver’ has never worked retail because that is one of the rudest things amongst shopping a rack which I am clearly trying to straighten for you to mess up again. And let’s discuss the sale sections… Lord… it only takes 1 woman 5 minutes (if that) to destroy 30 minutes of straightening. I think they have extraordinary powers which enables them to go through so much clothing so quickly, where I’ve also noticed that everything is cute… “ooooh that’s cute!” everything… even the ugly hemp-like “dress” in the sale dept that no one tries on, but somehow ends up being moved every 15 minutes. if only we could harness this power to serve mankind in a positive way which doesn’t entertain our selfish vain perceptions of ourselves… just a thought.