On top of the world to the underside of a rock…

Today has been nothing but a rollercoaster. Work was fine until about 1 and then I just felt like shit. No apparent reason, just down in the dumps. I got a response from one of the e-mails I sent about a room and I was so excited about it. It’s a townhouse and the two girls who live there are renting out the third room. Sounded great, talked to the one girl and she’s great, and the price is great as well as the location, after leaving I was so excited; but as soon as I pulled up to my house my demeanor just plummeted. I felt so depressed as I walked back in my house and to my room. I don’t know what brought this about. I’ve acknowledged that fact that I’m scared shitless of moving, but that alone wouldn’t make me this upset. I miss Seth and NY so much, as well as Jamie. I feel so comfortable when I’m around them and whenever I’m not around them I only miss them more. I’ve thought that I might want to move to DC, but I that’s so much more work to move there. I’d have to transfer locations with work and all, plus the cost of living is a lil bit more expensive there. I don’t think I’d be able to afford it. I love the atmosphere though, but I also love working in Baltimore. That’s primarily why I love living in Howard County, it’s pretty much smack-dab in the middle of the two; but I end up missing my DC friends so much when I’m away from there, that all I want to do is go back and never leave. I find myself creating this world separate from my home life, that as long as I don’t go back, it can last forever; and when I finally tear myself away (or become ripped) from that world, I get depressed that I have to return back to what I was trying to get away from in the first place. This whole moving thing is such a big step and I’m afraid that I won’t be able to do it on my own.